Jun 5, 2012

Me Needs Glasses! YIKES

Oh Dear Mee!

Da Momma took me's to see da dogter last week
(after me runned into her's leg fur bout da 87th time)

Dis has been goin on fur a while but when's me nearly knocked meself unconscious, her decided dat was da last straw (whatever dat means!)

Actually me probably hurt her leg when me head butted it and dat made her decide to takes me to da dogter.

Da dogter put me in a dark dark room {insert scary shiver} and he puts on some scary glasses {insert anudder scary shiver} (Hey doc, me da one wit da seeing pwoblem so why you got da glasses on??)

Anyway.....me eyes be jus' fine.  My retinas still be attached to me eyeballs and dere is no cat-er-racks or glue-commas in dere.  So da dogter said me is jus not seeing tings dat are close up (like da tweets da Momma sometimes dangles in front of me face).  Butt me can see jus fine if ya move back bout a paw!

So da dogter said me pwobably needs some weenie contacts.
Me tinks me looks more professional like dis!
 What you guys tink???
 *****
Da Momma had her head in da kitchen cabinets all day yesterday {enough cleaning already}.  So her made me miss Corbin's special day.
While da Momma was cleanin', me was readin all da wonder-fur Blogville postees yesterday and ya'll barked everyting dat me would of barked if my assistant would of assisted me!  
BUTT, let me jus say now!
DERE IS NO BAD DOGS...
JUS' BAD PEOPLE WHO MAKE DA DOGS BE BAD 'CAUSE DOGS ALWAYS DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE DERE MASTERS HAP-PEE!
(Cause dat's jus what we do...make peeps hap-pee)
Don't discriminate by breed cause we is all da same no matter what we's look like!
*******
Da following announcement is fur all of us who has to protect our yards:

Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a
Yard To Protect

Newspapers: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
Barking: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark - a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark ...
Licking: Always take a big drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.
Holes: Rather than digging a big hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.
Doors: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
Sniffing: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
Dining Etiquette: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.
Housebreaking: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
Going for Walks: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
Couches: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.
Playing: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.
Cats: When chasing cats, make sure you never *quite* catch them. It spoils all the fun.
Chewing: Make a contribution to the fashion industry ... Eat a shoe.

   AND DA FOLLOWING RULES IS FUR DA WEENIE DOG BREED  

OK's every buddy.  Now me has to go and snoopervise da Momma wit her cleaning project some more.
Don't furget me.....me be da one wit da glasses!
**********

 

42 comments:

Random Felines said...

Love your new glasses....pretty special. Hope they help you find the treats....

We agree - no bad dogs, just bad people. :)

Berts Blog said...

Well, the best part about having to wear glasses is that you ca be so stylin all the time. There are so many cool frames out there to choose from.
You are gonna be the queen of cool.

Max the Quilt Cat said...

What a great post today. I was so glad to hear that eyes passed the test. That's a wonderful thing.

Have a great day.

pawhugs, Max

Casey said...

OMD, were you skeered when the v-e-t came after you in the dark? I don't know what cat-racks have to do with anything, but I'm glad you don't have any. Your glasses are super stylish!

K9 Katastrophie said...

The vet sounds spooky! Heehee those rules are funny!!!!!! Thank for sharing them, we had a good laugh!

Licks,
Ruthie

Old Kitty said...

Adorable and ever so gorgeous Amber da Weenie! Me and Charlie think you look ever so distinguished and posh with sleek new stylish glasses! Yay!!But seriously - we're glad your eyesight is ok!

We totally think the Dachshund Rules should be a standard for all furrkids! Yay!! LOL!
p.s. There are NO BAD DOGS only bad owners!

Take care
x

Agnes B Bullock said...

LOVE the rules- we use them here! Thai is busy working on his dacning so that he can twirl you around the beach at the wedding

Lovable Lily said...

Super post! We're so glad to hear your eyes be OK-Dokey!

We too agree... There are NO bad dogs.

Hugs,
Lily Belle

Stewey said...

You look beautiful in your glasses, Amber! And, I know you'll do a great job snoopervising you mom's cleaning today :)
Stewey

Declan said...

Oooh you look dead intellectual in those glasses...hehe! Deccy x

Team Beaglebratz said...

The Diva Queen Shasta here- Your new glassez r just the bomb, gurlfurriend - purty in pink - just fur us DIVAz. I will haf tu speak tu my mom 'boutz gittin'me sum - they iza fashun statement - they sez "PROFESSHUNAL", most definitely. Must show that list of what dogz r 'spoze tu du - like bark anytime we feel the need so we can properly protect our kingdomz. Mom gitz "upset" when me'n Shiloh bark at 5am when we r in our bakyard- she thinkz we r tu loud fur the neighborz.
Gotta go fur now.

Kitty+Coco said...

Well Lawdy Bee, that sure is odd that you is short-sided. I have the glaucoma in one eye and it is a big bummer, but I stay on top of it. Anyhoo, I think spectacles would look very dashing on you! Totally agree on the Licking rule. Water dribbles on the floor get extra points.

Kitty+Coco

Suka said...

hey Amber,

You will set a fashion trend! Such a fashionista with our colorful glasses! Love them!

Your comments for the Pitty Post Day are excellent! Could not have woofed it better myself!

The Basic Rules are hilarious! BOL! Thank you for sharing! And love how the Dachshund gets not rules, because They rule. BOL! Perfect!

Suka

p.s. Hope your mom gets done with all her cleaning soon!

Mitch and Molly said...

What a perfect post! You're right - life is all about making our peeps happy and keeping them smiling!
You look very stylish in your pretty pink glasses, Amber!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Neat, are you going to get some pink doggles?
Sally Ann

Jazzi said...

What snazzi glasses!! Love the rules, sounds perfect to me!!

wags
Jazzi

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

Who needs glasses when we has super powaful snooters? I think that be why the dogtor had to wear glasses to look at you coz he has a defective snooter. Thanks fur the funnies WHAHAHAHA!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Cool glasses, Amber - you look very chic in them. Phantom doesn't hear much of anything and he doesn't see so well either, maybe we need to get him some new specs with hearing aids attached - BOL.

Love those doxie rules. We need to insert sibe for dachshund everywhere and post those rules here too.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Mango said...

Maybe you need those progressive lenses like my old momma has. Then you can see all close up AND far away. Or maybe just tie a big stick to your head so it will alert you when things are close.

Slobbers,
Mango

Scrappy said...

whew...i was worried for you when I first started reading! glad all is well with the eyes...it's just that the treats were too close to your eyes and they must've got crossed, I think! I love your Dachsund Rules...Yorkie rules seem very close...i always go under the covers to warm up!

Nola said...

I'm glad your eyes are okay! BOL about the weenie rules, so true
Nola

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

The new glasses are stylish and practical...and you look very lovely in them (brains and beauty)!

We loved the rules you posted. We so agree that it IS bad owners who create mean dogs!

Enjoy the cleaning frenzy!

chicamom85 said...

Amber, the glasses are you! You go girlfriend, maybe you can get one of those cool chain things to keep them on. I love your rules and you are spot on. I am going to print these and place them all over my house.

Loveys Sasha

Roo said...

Amber you look very Rad in your Retro glasses :D So, I'm thinkin your Dachshund Rules sound a lot like Roo Rules ;) Our peeps are so lucky to have us provide some structure for them eh ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Bassetmomma said...

You look like a fashionista in those pink glasses!

Golden Woofs! SUGAR said...

Woof! Woof! Its CUTE n you sure need it supervising your mom. Lots of Golden ALOHA n Woofs, Sugar

Brian said...

I sure hope yours eyes are okay cause bumping into things is no fun!

Oskar said...

I'm glad your eye-bulbs are okay. You looks very good with your glasses on!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Nola said...

Thank you for your prayers. Charlotte is now at the rainbow bridge

Madi and Mom said...

Amber those are the most fashionable specks I've seen in years!! We expect you are like most Doxies running on several Everyready batteries on full speed.

Mom loves the Doxie rules.
Hugs Madi and Mom

Hound Girl said...

Im glad things are ok, I LOVE your pink glasses, we should all be so lucky to look that good in glasses :)

Nola said...

Thank you for the words about Charlotte

Elyse and Riley said...

Aww, Amber, you look so CUTE with your glasses! You were cute before, but now even more so! (If that's possible...!).

Great Pitty Day postee!

And those Dachshund rules are funny! Chloe is part Dachshund and she's allowed all over the place--even under the covers! Riley isn't even allowed under the covers...haha!

Elyse and Riley

Remington said...

You look awesome! Happy to hear things are good....have a fun weekend!

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Oh Amber, you are the funniest!! You do look good in those pink glasses too. He he. Have a great weekend.
Smooches from pooches,
BabyRD & Hootie

ps-Thanks for the crossed paws and prayers! We got good news.

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

Yep them Dachshund rules sound spot on to us. Wonder why? Don't worry my love, I'll love you even with glasses on.

Sniff ya latr.......Weenie

Dory and the Mama said...

We just shared all those yard rules with Poppy for when she gets a furr-ever home, they are very useful!!

Smileys!
Dory

Doxie Rod said...

You look so distinguished with those glasses! Definitely a good look. And great rules, we will be sure to follow them strictly :)

Kat and the Furrsonality gang said...

As a Dachshund owner, I love the Dachshund rules!
And you look super-cute in your glasses!

Sweet William The Scot said...

Yep I like those Basic Rules. Licking could stand a revision, as in lick your privates than lick humans face.
Glad your eyes are disease free Amber, glasses on a girl can turn some of us guys on you know.
Sweet William The Scot

chancythegardner said...

Oh, sweet Amber we are sorry about your eyesight but we think you looks real professional in those glasses. We liked your rules. We agree with all you said about the doggie breeds too. Hugs and nose kisses

Groucho said...

Oh Amber, bad news about the eyes but the glasses were rather cool! And BTW, we LOVED the rules you set out - thanks for sharing those with us! I particularly liked the housebreaking one!!!!

Woof.

Groucho